Monday, August 31, 2009

KGB -- Kent Grove Boys

Down here in semi-rural Florida, there is a street. On this street, there are houses/mobile homes. In these homes, there are redneck families. In these families, there are children. And in the minds of these children, there is one thing they all seem to aspire to be: a Kent Grove Boy. Ya, the hood on Kent Grove St. and surrounding areas in Pasco are under control of the KGB. Their turf, proven by tags, extends for miles.

So you think your coo enough to join? Well, there are several requirements. My brother, he knew this kid on our bus. This kid has a brother who is in the KGB. His initiation? To jump on the back of a moving train, to prove he is "tuf", or something. My brother aspired to be a Kent Grove Boy ever since.
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This is probably the thing I find most consistently funny in my mind. This is really how people think of the single "gang" in our area. "Hey, you see that tag? KGB, ya!" It is beyond retarded. I have always imagined that it would make a hilarious "documentary" to drive down Kent Grove Street, and say how all the opposing gangs in the area are scared to death of them, and that it is a major crack center. Of course, gangsta rap music would be persistent in the background.

This would probably make all the simpletons who think that being gangsta (sometimes referred to as "White on the outside, Black on the inside" here, since there are few blacks here. This phrase always struck me as idiotic and racist) is the most significant thing a person could do. Especially when they hear that crack is sold there. Of course it isn't. The worse illegal things there are underage tobacco smoking and possibly small amounts of pot. But, then anybody with half a brain would understand the joke, which proves that the KGB, collectively, have less than one whole brain.
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Kay-Gee-BuEE!